Moving from one stage of life to the next can be a stressful experience.  However, we all know that aging is an inevitable fact of life.  Strategies exist to help seniors and their families work through this time of transition with a sense of positive closure.

            One of the most difficult times in this life stage is making the decision (or having the decision made for you by circumstances beyond your control) to downsize from the family home to a smaller home, apartment or room in a long- term care facility.  The following are some tips for making such necessary transitions easier, both logistically and emotionally.

1. PLAN AHEAD:  You don’t have to be ready to sell your belongings and move into a nursing home for these tips to be applicable to you or your aging loved one.  It is important and will make the transition much easier when it comes if you have planned and discussed the process with your loved ones ahead of time.

Too often the decision to move or downsize is made for you by circumstances.  You fall on the ice, break your hip and are told you can’t return to your three- story home.  Your spouse passes away and you have no family that live close enough to assist with the upkeep of your fifty year old residence.  These circumstances can be very difficult to accept and manage.  But if you have already developed a plan for such a time, things will operate much better and the potential stress of the transition will be decreased.  Professional organizer’s, such as myself, will tell you that it is best to have at least six months to prepare for a move but whatever your timetable turns out to be it is never too late to formulate a plan.

1. BE PATIENT (with yourself and with those you love):  Moving is an exhausting, emotional and time- consuming process at any life stage.  For a person giving up the home they have lived in for years, it is all the more difficult.  Even families who have had relatively little conflict over the years can find themselves arguing and frazzled during such a transition.  Some conflict during this time is normal and to be expected.  Advance planning and clearly communicating your desires, wishes and feelings are the best ways to make it through this time.  Which leads to tip number three…
2. TALK TO YOUR FAMILY:  Communicate your wishes and your fears.  Change can be frightening and if your loved ones aren’t aware of what your are feeling you may think they are being insensitive or don’t understand your position.  Starting a conversation about this type of transition can be difficult.  Anything that forces families to face their loved one’s aging and mortality can be hard to bring up.  But communicating openly and honestly really is the best way to make the transition, whenever it comes, manageable and easier for all involved.
3. DOCUMENT:  One way of avoiding conflict while making your wishes clear is to write them down.  Elder law attorneys are professionals that specialize in this process, particularly in regards to wills and trust documents.  It is also important to have your end of life wishes documented in a living will and to designate powers of attorney for both financial and medical matters.  It is advisable to avoid naming children as joint powers of attorney. This can create logistical issues if they live in different cities or have differing opinions.  It is best to name one child as power of attorney and name the other as the alternate if something were to happen to the primary contact person.

An inventory of personal belongings can be very helpful before the downsizing process begins.  There are professionals who specialize in this and many professional organizers and senior move managers also offer this service.  An inventory can insure that nothing gets missed or misplaced.  The inventory is most useful if it is a visual tool, such as digital pictures or videography.

1. ALLOW TIME TO SHARE MEMORIES:  One of the most precious things we pass on to our loved ones is a strong sense of family history, our legacy.  Taking the time to share stories is a wonderful gift to your loved ones that only you can give.  If a certain item reminds you of long ago times tell your kids about it.  You may not decide to keep the item but the memory will live on.  If a tea set brings back memories of fun times spent with your girlfriends than invite your granddaughters over for tea and let them each have a cup from the set.  Be creative in how you divvy up your belongings.  You do not have to wait until you pass on to bequeath your precious things.  If you will not have room for them in the new space then give them to whom you think will appreciate them the most.

In closing I will give you an acronym I have developed for this time of senior transition:

S: Start now

T: Talk to your loved ones

A: Act thoughtfully

Y: Yield to the process

S: Seek professional assistance (professional organizer, senior move manager, etc) if you need help or lack support.